Actually, I’d say you were doing a pretty good job of “honoring” your mother.

I was in ministry for 30 years and I really hope (I won’t swear I didn’t) but I really hope I never came across as saying people had to ignore the dysfunctional actions of their parents — or feed into it (or dysfunctional actions of the churches they were part of).

I don’t think I did — because I had a problem with my mother, too. My dad and I were very close and as I became an adult I regarded him as one of my best friends. My mother, that’s an entirely different manner.

I’m just saying, if what you are describing is being a bad daughter — then being “bad” isn’t so terrible. You honor the fact there is some sort of relationship and bond there and you do what you can to care for her.

That’s pretty much what I’d call self-less love. Caring for someone you may not even like.

Look, you don’t need validation from me, to be certain. But, for my money, I think you’re doing pretty good there.